PERSONAL POWER

Joy is in taking responsibility for YOU! Wow – this has been a big lesson for me! Taking responsibility means that there isn’t blame in your home. It isn’t someone else’s fault. When I was 21, there were so many spaces where I didn’t take responsibility for myself – I didn’t say ‘NO’, I didn’t teach people how to treat me, I didn’t value me and I then lived life very much from a victim mentality. I blamed my husband for choices that he did/didn’t make but it was me who gave away my personal power. Now our reality is very different. We both take responsibility for our choices. If we say we are going to do something and we don’t end up doing it, we own it. It is incredibly freeing to take back your personal power and openly communicate from a space of compassion if you haven’t followed through somewhere. There is so much more love in partnership when individuals are taking responsibility for their choices. Sending you so much love and joy xx

CREATING IN PARTNERSHIP

My first post for 2016 and here it is!!! My word for 2016 is JOY!! It is plastered in capital letters in my dream book for the year!! I am excited to experience more of this feeling than ever before!! So I was eager to see the film, ‘Joy’ at the cinema, hoping to discover enlightened ideas on my 2016 exploration of this theme. While I was inspired by the female character’s resilience to follow through with her dream, I felt quite perplexed with two of the messages that appear to be in many a modern day film. Firstly, the idea that creating is a real struggle and results in a great deal of financial burden when following one’s dreams. Secondly, the idea that there is very little joy to be experienced in family and overwhelming regret about what could’ve been. We all at some point experience these different feelings (I definitely have with with past health issues), however, I wholeheartedly believe that each and every one of us can create joy today in our everyday lives. Not just when we are on holidays, or on long service leave, or when there is a special celebration, or on the weekends. In this very moment, we can consciously create the feeling of joy! One way that my husband and I feel joy and connection is in dedicating a few hours a week to actively sharing what we want to individually create. We love discussing how we can individually support each other to follow our highest joys and creations, but more importantly, I feel the joy is in giving to each other’s independent visions, whether that be through encouragement, belief or ideas. May we all support each other to follow our greatest joys and value our own individual creations!! Sending you all much love and joy in 2016 xx

TRUTH

I know that the path to joy is authenticity, truth and accountability and I am choosing to share with you something, which definitely makes me feel uncomfortable and vulnerable. I have for many years had an expectation on my husband to make me happy. I have compared him to my father, brother, other men and I wonder how he has not buckled under the weight of my expectation. I have also felt that I was responsible for his happiness. I really believe that we all can place a tremendous amount of expectation on our partners, children, friends, careers and businesses to make us feel loved and happy. I have wanted my dream house, a luxurious holiday, expensive nights out and much more and wondered when I received these things, why I didn’t suddenly feel joy!!?? My joy has now come in the following: close connections with family and friends, affection (cuddles), watching my son play, help in the home from my husband, colouring in mandalas, nature walks on my own, sitting in our hammock on the veranda, time together as a family etc. One can never put a price on love: this is the value and quality that fills me up!! I would encourage everyone to voice to all of your loved ones, “I free you from my expectations… I am responsible for my own happiness. You do not need to do or be anything other than who you are. You are enough and I am enough”. Feel free to also share in the comments below where you may have placed expectation on someone or something. Sending you all so much love and joy xx

WHAT DO YOU NEED

To be honest, there have been times when I've felt exhausted, drained and frustrated in my marriage and I've blamed my husband!! There are times when I've lived in reactive behaviours like blame, control and my past favourite was the silent treatment!! Yes I have imperfections, but that's okay!! I think that as women we can sometimes underestimate our own inner strength, capabilities and power to create for ourself!! I certainly realised my inner strength after birthing a baby... now if you've birthed one baby and gone back for more that makes you superhuman, invincible and you definitely have super powers!! I believe these reactive behaviours find us when we are out of alignment with WHO we are. A question that Lyell and I ask each other when we are in these spaces is: "What do you need to give yourself right now??" My answer usually revolves around needing time to myself. However, if we're not sure what it is, we have an amazing tool that we use everyday in our home, Body Consciousness/Women's Wisdom, which was created by Jules O'Neill. This is a system, which has helped us receive clarity on who we are, what we love and what we need in order to thrive as individuals and as a family. I believe the clearer we are on what it is that we love to give ourselves, the more joy we experience!! Sending you heaps of joy and love xx

ON YOUR PATH

I love helping people to find/step onto their path!! Perhaps this is because I spent a few years completely off my path. I had stopped valuing ME and instead sought to please others, all to the detriment of my health. Looking back, I felt so much discomfort in my body during those years but I chose to ignore it. It eventually manifested in Chronic Fatigue for 8 long years!! I buried all of my feelings deep down so they couldn't be felt until I felt nothing/numb. It felt easier/safer not to confront what I was feeling. My greatest fear was that if I spoke up and shared authentically that I would lose love!! One of the most important lessons I have learnt from this is to always speak up in your relationship/partnership. I share everything with my husband: feelings, ideas, fears, insecurities, frustrations, when I'm not feeling valued or I'm not valuing myself, my excitements, what I need etc!! Opening up/speaking up and "leaning into discomfort" (Brené Brown) has always created a much closer connection!! Sending you so much love and joy xx